1. Be RICH. 
This is
important for you, but not for her. For her, #2 follows.
2. Spend MONEY on HER. 
This is the most important thing for
her, whether you are rich, have any money, or must lie, steal, or
kill to do it.
3. Be
TALL. 
Of course you have no real control over this, but if you don't do
it, she will secretly & forever resent you for it & it will
come out of left field to smite you. Preferably be about one foot
taller than her - not for comfort or aesthetics, but because you
are a trophy &, as always, the bigger the better.
4. Be
a MINDLESS ZOMBIE RULED BY HER. 
Forget
what you've heard about submissive asian women. They actually rule
every relationship with insidious & painful,
passive-aggressive, guilt-evoking, whiny, crying
mind-control.
5. Have the EMOTIONAL STABILITY OF A 4-YEAR-OLD.
She will be impressed & enraptured by your delight at the sight
of Hello Kitty, stuffed animals, puppies, kitties, duckies,
bunnies, as well as chocolates, shiny jewellry & other trinkets
& knick-knacks. Also, she will understand perfectly well if you
pout over the smallest perceived slight or slip & demand to be
appeased, assuaged, or made up to. If you behave any other way, she
will never understand it.
6.Dress like a PRETTY-BOY GEEK. 
This will save her the trouble of replacing
your wardrobe & dressing you herself.
7.Remove EVERY HAIR ON YOUR BODY EXCEPT THOSE ON YOUR
SCALP. 
The
sight of a whisker on your face reminds her that somewhere inside
you, something is trying to grow. You must not grow - you must be
as unchanging & constant as the firmament.
8.There are NO MORE RULES to making your asian
girlfriend happy. 
If any
situation arises which you feel the rules have not addressed, you
are mistaken - immediately refer to the primary rules #1 & #2 -
they are the solution in every such case.